I created other worlds.
I carried speakers across sand dunes to bring them to your party.
I wrote a letter to the Principal explaining why I didn’t want to be a prefect.
I stopped eating for a while.
I typed an essay about Eugenides, Winterson and Salinger.
I wore Puma Supersuedes to the dance.
I heard you knock at the door and I pretended not to be in.
I laughed out loud listening to recordings of Robert Frost reading his poems. Birches.
I wore a key around my neck.
I wasn’t ready.
I watched My So-Called Life and sighed.
My cat died and I cried while making cheese on toast.
I had flowery silk pyjamas. I miss them.
I read poetry by Bukowski and pulled out strands of hair.
I hid cigarette butts inside a soap dish.
I thought everyone was smarter than me.
I pushed my ear to the ground so I could hear.
I listened to Surfer Rosa. A lot.
I drank carryouts with my best friend.
I couldn’t tell you how I felt because I was forgetting how to feel.
I climbed in windows.
I wrote letters and posted them.
I didn’t think too much about what was on the outside.
I wanted to hide.
I was figuring it out. Slowly.
BOOKS
I’m still reading The Marriage Plot and it’s still an utter joy.
FILMS
I headed off to the BFI with my lovely cousin to check out the Woody Allen season and kick back in a nice cinema for a couple of hours. We decided on Bullets Over Broadway which was fine by me because anything John (and/or Joan) Cusack is in = fine with me. Weirdly, the only 35mm they could source was in Spain and came with Spanish subtitles. Lucky us – a film and a chance to brush up on my GCSE Spanish skillz.
Best line: “You stand on the brink of greatness. The world will open to you like an oyster. No… not like an oyster. The world will open to you like a magnificent vagina.”
CLOTHES
I’m going back to basics for a while – no more dresses. Nope. It’s all about the jeans and the boots. The knitted jumper and the vest. Let’s see how long it lasts…
Last week I mentioned the Whistles pineapple dress and I’ve got to say it was a bit of a disappointment. I ordered online (a mad move) and when it arrived I found it covered in little (but obvious) lighter marks in the fabric. So, goodbye pineapple dress, it seems as though we’re not destined to be friends. A shame but a blessing in disguise as I don’t have that kind of dough right now.
Some nice threads
Topshop Boutique has some nice stuff at the moment including this neon jumper. I’m also a little bit in love with these ballet pumps and this bag.
The woman inside me who thinks she can walk elegantly in (6″) high heels wants these t-bars from Michael Kors, shame she’s broke and they’d fester like a sore in a box, wailing “You never wear me’.
MUSIC
I really don’t know what to expect from The Long Count at the Barbican. Well, anything that involves The National, the Deal sisters and Tunde Adebimpe has my vote:
RIP Etta James.
FOOD
We found a deal! A deal for fish and chips and wine at J. Sheekey for just £15.95. So Janey Mac and I duly got our backsides on nice seats and prepared to enjoy. It was good but it was a shame about the level of embarrassment that the staff seemed to feel upon having to serve us. Dudes, if you want (or need) to provide an offer do it in such a way that it doesn’t damage your brand and upset your guests. I’ve been to J. Sheekey before, a very kind present from my family and they spent a ton of money and it was fabulous. I want to feel the same fabulous at J.Sheekey whether it’s £15.95 or £500 being spent. It appears that they may be doing themselves more harm than good. Buck up your ideas – serve those coming for the deal in the same area of the restaurant with staff who are glad to serve up the fish and chips and not add cover charges etc. in a lame attempt to wangle more money. The good news? The salt and pepper shakers are still satisfyingly heavy and pints of Guinness come in silver tankards.
The days are brimming with tunes and words. It’s hard to contain.
BOOKS
I’ve been reading A LOT lately. It goes like this – “Oh! It’s the new year. I need to read more books.” *Emma reads 10 books in 10 days then sits down for 200 days and looks at the internet*
Annnnd nothing’s changed, here I am sat in the middle of January popping books like Pringles.
The Sisters Brothers What a beaut of a book. Dark and beguiling, you’ll fall in love with Eli Sisters (and forget he’s a murderer with the murdering skillz). Look at Me One of Jennifer Egan’s other books. Egan addresses the things I love to read about – identity and the search for knowledge/truth – and does it thoughtfully with a sprawling cast of characters, all equally messed up and enmeshed in their own plight to understand and be understood. Into the Darkest Corner I read this in one sitting, so you could say it’s gripping. A tale of domestic violence, at times hard to read but the hardest part seemed to be the breaking up of the self, shorn and set asunder, the quietest voice your own. Frightening. The End Specialist Immortality meets contract killing. It’s a good read but whatever he writes next will be better. The Tiny Wife Twee alert. A bank robber chooses not to raid the safe but instead takes the most personal possession each individual carries with them. Question: What happens when it’s gone? Answer: Weird shit. It’s short and sweet.
At the moment I’m reading The Marriage Plot and The Basic Eight. Back to the good old days of two books at once. I am liking both of them, well, I’m liking The Marriage Plot more because it’s Jeffrey Eugenides and that dude knows his words.
CLOTHES
I was obsessing over this Nadinoo dress I found in Betty Magazine and then I went and BOUGHT IT. I hope it’s just as beautiful in real life because I intend to wear the shit out of it. The print was also designed from sketches by Edwyn Collins – “In 2005 Edwyn suffered a severe cerebral haemorrhage that he took six months to recover from. As part of his rehabilitation he drew a bird a day, like a sketchbook on fabric complete with names of birds and dates when they were drawn.” This makes me love it even more.
The Whistles pineapple dress just landed and it looks gooood.
The Carin Wester Aida boots were in the Urban Outfitters sale, sold out instantly (unless you’re a size 3) and I’m still dreaming of them. The heel looks a bit dodgey but check out those pom poms. Damn you, pom poms, you’ll be the death of me.
Who wants a pale blue shirt with weird lace-y bits and buttons that say “Hello”? Me! I do. At least, I think I do. This Henry Holland shirt looks brilliant in dark blue on the cover of Betty Magazine but seems less spectacular in pale blue. Whatcha think?
MUSIC
Since I’ve gone freelance I’m listening to way more music. So, here’s another playlist to turn on in a dark corner of the afternoon.
I struggle with my hair. It’s long and I never know what to do with it, so I thought I’d take some advice from a few of my heroes. So far, so good. Bruce Springsteen likes a good plait, Tom Waits is a topknot fan and David Lynch thinks you can’t beat a bit of backcombing.
It’s 2012 and I can think of 2012 reasons why I’m glad it’s 2012.
I hope that at least 2012 great (little) things happen to you this year. I hope you’re appreciated and understood. I hope you’re left alone when you want to be left alone. I hope you’re listened to in a way that means you’re heard. I hope you remember what keeps your eyes open and your lungs flapping. Be good to people. Just don’t be a dick.
That’s my resolution – don’t be a dick. The 11th Commandment.
I don’t have a round-up yet but I will next week. In the meantime here’s a playlist.
