I lost. ‘Dear John’ your film is shit. P.S. What is that bike?
Seriously, I lost bad. Real bad. If you want to see a film where the girl is a philanthropic thicko who fucks up everyone’s life then ‘Dear John’ is for you. She’s like Florence Nightingale but only if Florence was dropped on her head when she was a baby and part of her brain shut up shop while the another part went mad, philanthropically mad.
So, synopsis:
Soldier on leave meets what’sherface girl at beach, they hit it off (cue lots of lifting her up, gazing at the little moon, eye-watering and some punching). Then he goes to war and she goes to school but they keep writing to each other over the year (this is 9/11 time but her fashion styling is bang on 2009/10). She is a girl who builds houses for hurricane victims, hangs out with autistic kids and rides horses – she doesn’t drink, smoke or swear but she tells us she has vices (yep, she’s a mental case). So, long story short he loves her, she loves him, he is doing war stuff for longer than initially thought, she dumps him and marries cancer suffering friend and becomes mother to his autistic son, he gets shot, his dad dies, he is at war for fucking years and then he comes home to bury his dad and goes to meet her – she cries about how hard her life is (she dumped him, his dad died, he gets shot, he inhabits war-torn countries for years) but her life is a mess because he stayed at war. So, he still loves her, ends up making an anonymous donation which allows her to take care of her dying husband in his last few months, while he goes back to war. Cancer guy dies, he comes back from war and they look at each other through a cafe window. The end. (Thank fuck.) THIS IS NOT ‘THE NOTEBOOK’. Not even close. Also, at the end he’s locking up a seriously girly bicycle, like an Electra Cruiser.
That’s it. It’s shit.
You should get into fighting – a good kicking is way better for you than watching pulp!
: )
Hang-on haven’t I already said that?
You should write reviews for The Guardian. Much better than the current ones.
Hmmm, I like the idea of fighting and watching films. Not together. Maybe together. Hmmm, the film fighting club.
Wee Quizzie is telling the truth. I was there. It is shit. Apparently the final scene with the pansy bike and weird hairdo was a last minute addition which is why it looks so odd. Hollywood couldn’t hack an unhappy ending or presumed we couldn’t hack it. A better happy ending would have been if more of the characters died.