We ate burgers, chips and chicken wings. We wanted the lobster roll but, of course, it was off the menu at the soft launch. They should have removed it from the menu as we witnessed pretty much everyone ask for it, only to be told they couldn’t have it. Oh, disappointment weighs down with such heavy memory. The burgers were awesome, as they should be, it’s Hawksmoor. The menu includes other meaty treats – hot dogs, chicken burgers, poutine… Drinks were good, ten to choose from and we downed a few and they were all decent, the Green and Red Margarita probably won it for me, the Nuclear Banana was a dinner in itself and the Marmalade Cocktail was suitably decadent. Service was good, well-shirted and attentive.

I see it as a haven for men wearing suits that don’t fit, drinking man-cocktails, thinking they’re Don Draper, dicks cushioned in expensive underwear that should have their name sewn in, burger juice dribbling down chins. If you go: sit at the bar, definitely don’t take a date, take your mate, get pissed, eat burgers. I’ll probably be back, but not for the lobster roll.

Nuclear Banana (Apologies for the lame-o dark Instagram.)

We arrived (10 minutes late) for Sunday lunch, were greeted and asked if we’d like to have a drink at the bar before being seated. YES! Yes, please. We hopped on bar stools sank a Bloody Mary and an Earl Grey Martini, flicked through the Sunday papers and eventually took our seats. What a novelty. I’m so used to being shunted around in restaurants that if anyone gives me time to get my shit together and puts me at ease then you’ve already won me over.

We had an early lunch booking (12.30) and the restaurant and bar area were steadily filling up. So much to choose from on the menu and if the look of the plates being delivered to other tables and the devourers rosy-faced contentment is anything to go by then it was all good. We finally decided on:

Starter: Salt and pepper squid
Properly salty with a simple leaf salad and olive oil dressing. I am the queen of all squid related food and this was truly good. Better than Gordan Ramsay at Maze good. I wanted to order it again for my desert.

Main course: Roast lamb, spiced aubergine, tzatziki and jus for 2
Perfectly cooked, we carved and we ate. Oh, how we ate. Sides included roast potatoes, an enormous Yorkshire pudding and seasonal greens. Everything was fresh, well cooked and seasoned. SEASONED! I wasn’t super impressed with the roast potatoes but then we’re all very special when it comes to our roast potato expectations.

Desert: Pavlova with berries and another Earl Grey Martini
Ziiiing. Perfect ending to the meal.

The service is relaxed, knowledgable, friendly and always present. The tables and their diners are given space to talk, eat and flail their arms around if they want. And the cocktails. Oh, sweet mercy, the cocktails. Just go. We’re going again. And again. And again.

The Crooked Well, Camberwell (I love SE London 4eva.)

Some birthday stuff I got:

Polaroid Impossible Project film.

Kate Kanzier shoes and bag.

The Vamoose necklace.

Chloé Eau de Parfum.

Tonight we’re off to see ‘Inception’ at the IMAX, eat Chinese and chat shit. Can’t wait for Janey Mac day tomorrow with food at Gilgamesh.

I wonder if they do Slush Puppies at the IMAX. Here’s hoping…

Village East

This menu has been in our house for a while. It’s always close to hand for ‘Chinese Thursdays’ and just in case you get the urge for king prawn toast, or salt and chilli squid. One day I’m going to frame it. It’ll be like my bashed up Bruce Lee poster from 16 years ago. So, if you’re in South East London and in need of a hit try out EXP Chinese. Yum. Oh, don’t try the Szechuan hot fried beef, Maffews thinks it’s rubbish.

Janey Mac took me to The Japan Centre on Piccadilly on a snowy Saturday not long past and it ruled. Super busy, to be expected on a Saturday afternoon in central London, but the services was sharp, the saké was hot and the ramen with kimchi was unspeakably good. So good that Andy and I went the next day. Kimchi is yummi. We’re going again very soon.

I made macaroons and they taste gooood.