We ate burgers, chips and chicken wings. We wanted the lobster roll but, of course, it was off the menu at the soft launch. They should have removed it from the menu as we witnessed pretty much everyone ask for it, only to be told they couldn’t have it. Oh, disappointment weighs down with such heavy memory. The burgers were awesome, as they should be, it’s Hawksmoor. The menu includes other meaty treats – hot dogs, chicken burgers, poutine… Drinks were good, ten to choose from and we downed a few and they were all decent, the Green and Red Margarita probably won it for me, the Nuclear Banana was a dinner in itself and the Marmalade Cocktail was suitably decadent. Service was good, well-shirted and attentive.

I see it as a haven for men wearing suits that don’t fit, drinking man-cocktails, thinking they’re Don Draper, dicks cushioned in expensive underwear that should have their name sewn in, burger juice dribbling down chins. If you go: sit at the bar, definitely don’t take a date, take your mate, get pissed, eat burgers. I’ll probably be back, but not for the lobster roll.

Nuclear Banana (Apologies for the lame-o dark Instagram.)

Next time I’m getting the zebra.

And staying on the grey tip I thought I’d wear my lovely buckle wedges from Office. I don’t normally dig wedges, but these, these beautiful things are very different.

Village East

So, what do you do in London for a whole week? This:

1. Have Maffews’ amazing mum come to stay for a day – drink pink sparkles and laugh.
2. Go to the London Aquarium and swim with the fishes.
3. Eat delicious food at Comptoir Gascon.
4. Scope out amazing cupcakes at Hummingbird Bakery or Candy Cakes.
5. Go for bike rides come rain or shine.
6. Read books and lie on grass.
7. Go to Brockwell Lido.
8. Eat sashimi.
9. Go to Walking In My Mind at the Southbank Centre and hopefully get freaked out by how freaking amazing it is.
10. Watch Maffews take pikkers and take Diana back out into the light for some fun.
11. Eat tummy pleasing breakfast delovelies at Franklins on Lordship Lane but don’t have the OJ AND coffee – tummy says “no, no, no”.
12. Hang with the sweetastic super-auntie Janey Mac – eat super delicious dinner, drink gin and maybe sit out on the stoop.
13. Walk, walk, walk and talk, talk, talk, hold hands, drink Guinness and think, think, think.

Oh, and go to Paris on the Eurostar! Unfortunately this isn’t Andy and Emma fun, this is Janey B and Emma fun. I am excited but I feel bad, but not too bad as Maffews has already played in Paris.